Thursday, February 2, 2012

Page 33

Lying here with a massive headache and sleepless cuz of nerves about my knee surgery tomorrow.

Overall, I've been holding up a strong positive front. But, inside, i'm shivering like a scared little girl. 

I suppose it's all normal feelings, but I still feel exposed admitting that. 

Tomorrow is a day of discovery and answers. I liken it to finding out if God is real or not.  My knee is kinda like the moment that so many people wait for in life.  But, instead of answering the question, is God real? We are answering the question, is there a genuine injury to my knee causing the pain??? 

Right? Right! So, tomorrow I find out. 

I really, really hope he finds something wrong - like a meniscal tear, acl treat, something genuine and treatable.  I can handle rehab.   Cuz if he finds nothing - everything is normal - then I'm off to pain management. And, something I've learned over the years is that it's nearly impossible to fight off a pain that has no justifiable reason to exist in your life other than to simply try to fuck with your mind. 

Hmmm....  Sounds like a few people i.know actually. 

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