Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Page 32

Life is hard. Relationships are hard. I see so many kids these days posting on Facebook about their relationship attempts (especially the failed attempts).  The constant back and forth relationship status changes - like a revolving door. 

I can't help but wonder why there is such an emphasis on having a romantic relationship.  I'm not naive by any stretch of the imagination. I'm aware that hormones begin to run amuck at a young age spurred on ferociously by advertising and musical influences.  But even so, where is  the parental guidance? 

When little girls are encouraged to be in relationships at 9 & 10 yrs old, one has to wonder what the hell is in the parent's head?!  By encourage, I also mean allowing such a young girl to even refer to another child as a " boyfriend" regardless of what silly and unreasonable restrictions you have in place.  It's mental. It just ain't right. 

I have personally witnessed a situation where a 10-year-old child was told she isn't allowed to shave her legs or  underarms until she is 12.  That's a hygeine and personal image thing. She wants to, she feels embarrassed by the hair growth as she frequently has her legs exposed due to sports activities.  (On a side note, my own 10-year-old twin daughters have had to shave their under arms since they were 9 at their own request and because it was noticeable.)  However, this same 10-year-old child who is not allowed to shave is, however, allowed to be "in a relationship" (per Facebook), and is allowed to have a"boyfriend" with the stipulation of no holding hands till 16, no hugging till 18, and no kissing till 30. 

Seriously?!  I mean, c'mon...  Is there some piece of this puzzle that I am missing?

I must be living in a twilight zone where I, a grown, 37-year-old woman living with my fiancé and 7 children, in a nice home, raising them to take life seriously and not treat relationships flippantly, am considered to be participating in an inappropriate relationship - exposing young children to emotional turmoil - yet, the aforementioned emotional and mental programming and manipulation of a young girl is considered a strong, conservative, Christian upbringing. 

I would like to publicly say that, I am so very grateful for the inappropriate and alternative reality which my family lives in.  And, Universe-willing, my children will grow up living in the twilight zone too.

Debbie Lee

P.S. No, my 10-year-old daughters do not have Facebook accounts and get offended when anyone even suggests that they might have a boyfriend.  And, my 13 & 14-year-old sons have decided (thanks to our inappropriate, secular child-rearing techniques) that they are too young for relationships and should keep their options open. 

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